I don't know how many times I tried to start this entry but ended up backspacing.

I was going to write something about Waterloo, like how I'm getting used to it. I'm not really used to it. I should be used to the workload by now, but no, I'm still not. I have lots to catch up on.

Being sick is no longer an excuse, I kind of brought it upon myself and I finally realize how much I'm lying to myself when I say that I should probably only just focus on studying and nothing else. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I'm recovering but, it's such an up and down process, it's getting annoying.

Anyways, what my smiley face is really about is Jerry. Lol. I don't know, I just...wanted to say it.

I don't want to give out stupid proverbs. But, I realize that...when you like someone, and that person likes you back, and then you guys go out, it's never what you expect. I read this in Twilight, lol, I didn't know it could actually also apply to real life haha (not to HER extent though). Bella said that she never expected to like a person THIS much.

When I first went out with Jerry, I think I even told him that I didn't expect to actually like him enough to wanna go out with him lots or like wanna see him lots. LOL, we're too chillaxed. I used to think that when you like someone and that person likes you back, it was simply liking. Just the word LIKE, and it didn't incorporate all those feelings that float around that word. I don't even know if I can officially use the word LOVE because it seems so early for that "technically", don't you think? We've officially been going out for a little over a month, but then before that, weeks of events happened. We always tell each other this, that, even though it's only been a month, it feels like MONTHS. We just see each other everyday; he was even like "hey you know what I just realized? We see each other everyday." and I'm like "hmm..." and he's like "what? You're not happy?" and I'm like "nono, it's not that. It's just that, won't you get tired of me? Like you see me everyday, you're gonna get tired of me probably." and he's like "no, why would I? I'll never get tired of Cathy. What I mean is that, it's like I've been seeing you everyday, it's gonna feel a bit out of place when I don't see you tomorrow or something." That made me go like :). I don't even know why. I kinda stopped analyzing myself a long time ago, I listened to Skye and she just said LET IT FLOW. LOL. It makes one feel free. *Sigh*. He just...always says these things, they're so cute and they're so lame, and they're so cheezy but I'll never get tired of them. If it was someone else, normally, I'd be thinking -_-...lame joke...not funny at all, and force a laugh lol. But, when he says it, I geniunely laugh. It's really different from like...when you had a crush on someone.  lol, I sound obsessed, but I'm not. But I can really see how people can actually go out for years. I'm starting to slowly erase the fear of him getting tired of me. I used to try to not let him see me everyday in case he'll get tired, but...literally, fate just keeps letting it happen, so....I've really just given up.

Back onto the point. Yeah, I never really expected to like him THIS much. It sounds so CHEEZY to say this, lol, and I guess it's personal but for some reason, when I type it out, it just feels... a lot more... truer. One of the things I love the most, and by the Holy Lord, I do not want to jinx this but if we break up one day, I'm going to miss this SOOOOOOOO much, is when we hug. When we hug, and since he's so tall (well tall for an Asian and a bit built), I just like to lay my head on his chest and close my eyes. I don't know if you've read in books or seen in movies, the girl would say like, she feels safe and loved when she does that. Yeah...that actually happens. I don't read chick flick books (TWILIGHT...is THE BEST) and I haven't seen too many chick flick movies, but when I first saw/read that, I was like, "is that possible? I mean it makes sense, but being in the arms of someone can actually make you feel like all your problems can go away?"

Yes, it can happen, and it amazes me each time. Hugging Jerry, he's so warm that it makes my heart feel a bit warm as well. One word just screams the feeling, "safe". Maybe it's also cuz of all the things he just does for me, without me asking. All these factors, all these days, and all these feelings. It makes me realize that the more I spend time with him, the more I like him, to the point where it's one day (I think it's happening soon, cuz dating in uni is COMPLETELY diff from high school) to the point like I could say I love him. (We already say that anyways, but I think you get what I mean.) I just don't ever get tired of Jerry, even when his stubbornness just gets me SO annoyed and since I'm so stubborn as well, and my own stubbornness towards his stubbornness gets me annoyed as well.

LOL, long entry about lovey-dovey stuff. All I'm trying to say is, I'm really glad I met Jerry....and have someone as awesome as him. The stuff he does and says sometimes is just... so .

-cath